to be or not to be? is it a question?

I resent strongly the implication in our Gospel Mission reading that gays push the biological argument as a way to be accepted. I don't know the biological research and I'm not going to try to quibble about what it does or doesn't prove. I do know that I have other reasons for insisting that my sexual orientation was not my choice but is irrevocably part of me. Primarily, I believe that it's a "given", to use Weber's term, because I never made a choice to be bisexual. I realized that I was attracted to guys; a while later, I figured out/admitted that I was also attracted to women; finally I accepted that that fit pretty well with the label "bisexual." But at no point did I choose to be queer.

Do I choose to identify as bisexual? Yes. Do I choose when, where, and how I come out or stay in the closet? Generally, though occasionally someone chooses for me. But did I choose to be attracted to women as well as men? F*ck, no. Why on earth would I have chosen something that makes me repulsive to many lesbians and gay men as well as to many straight people; something that greatly increases my vulnerability within my vocation (and I came out as ordination track about the same time I came out as bisexual, so there was no surprise about it)? Why on earth would I choose something that I prayed for a year for God to take away from me, or at least for God to choose between "bisexual" and "priest"?

Sure, insisting that this wasn't my choice doesn't address the issue of whether it would be ok if I had chosen it. I'm ok with that, at least at this juncture. My firm belief that God created me this way does in fact have bearing on my theological stance that it's an ok way to be. But I don't "push through" an argument of "it wasn't me, don't blame me" as a way out. I argue that sexual orientation - totally apart from how we do choose to live that out - is something with which we're endowed by our Creator, if you will, because that's been my experience. Because I did not, in fact, choose this.